Today in #joiito I was challenged to write a 5ives, a list of five things. Here’s what I wrote:
Five translations of Wifespeak
1) No = Yes
2) Are you busy? = I have something for you do.
3) You don’t have to get me anything for [holiday]. = Prove your love by disobeying me.
4) No, nothing’s wrong. = I’m pissed.
5) What do you want for dinner? = I want to go out for dinner.
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Five Translations of Bossspeak
1) Can I see you in my office? = You’re fired
2) I have an opportunity for you. = You’re fired
3) We’re restructuring. = You’re fired
4) Meet Bob, who starts today. = You’re fired
5) Did you take the last donut? = You’re fired
It’s…so…true!
(not mr. p’s)