Cruftbox: My Box of Cruft

Today is the last day of Movember. The Mo is in full bloom.

These things are worth your time to read:
Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving – This literally brought tears to my eyes as I read it and laughed so hard I snorted. Be sure to catch this one about Simple Dog as well.
20 Things I Learned About Browsers and the Web – An amazing example of HTML5 and good explanations of the current internet to less tech savvy people. If only the whole web worked this way…
Color names if you are a man or a woman – Even made Michele laugh.
Two Hipsters and a Bong – Youtube clip 1:46 long, worth it
I made a fun poster.
The Great Cyberheist – A superb NY Times article on criminal hacking.

Why is November a hard month at Cruft Manor? Because it’s Movember, the month when I grow a mustache for charity.
This is the third year I’ve grow a mustache to help raise money to fight prostate cancer. Prostate cancer hits 1 on 3 men. Most people know a man in their family that’s been affected by this terrible disease. The Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG use the money to help men with cancer and fund research.
I’m asking you to donate to the cause.
As you can see from the pictures on the Movember site and below, facial hair comes on strong with me. As my brother Matt says “Pusateri facial hair is an relentless force of nature. You can’t stop it; you can only hope to contain it.”

For the month of October, I’ve been playing Healthmonth, a site set up to help you meet health goals in a game like way. I learned of Healthmonth from Matt Haughey’s post about it. Matt’s right, it’s a good site.
I’ve really enjoyed playing Healthmonth, even though it adds a little stress to my life. Amazingly, I am quite motivated to meet my Healthmonth goals even though all failure means is losing virtual points. I’ve found myself out for a run or eating fruit at 9PM just to meet my Healthmonth goals.

This is an update on what happened at the triathlon I mentioned in my last post.
I got up early Saturday morning to the sound of rain drops. Not really processing this, I got up, ate some oatmeal, got dressed in my laid out kit, grabbed my gear bag, and headed out the door. My bike was already in the car. The car was covered in dew and there was a light mist in the air, but I didn’t think much of this.
As I got onto the freeway headed to Carson, I noticed more and more rain and by the time I got to Downtown, the wipers were needed to keep the windshield clear. Upon arrival in Carson, it was full on raining on me. Besides a few empty tents I cold see no organization and had no idea where the transition area was. Sitting in the car for a half hour, I wondered what was going to happened. More cars arrived and I wandered out to figure out the situation. It was light enough to see the transition area in a grassy area off the road.
Grabbing my bike and gear bag, I headed up to get ready. Stepping onto the grass in transition, I sank a good three inches into the mud due to rain. This was the point I said to myself, “What the fuck are you doing here?” The feeling passed and I racked my bike.
A few minutes later I heard a voice call out to me. I turned around and saw it was Michael Pajaro aka Mr. P aka NeopreneWedgie, my coworker who had just completed the Kona Ironman a few weeks ago. He was holding a sign for me and there to root me on. I was touched that he made it out into the rain to cheer me on in the tiny triathlon I was about to run.

A quick catch up on my travels and my hotel rooms.

My day job involves managing a wide variety of technology for a large media company. People want to present their products and services to me all the time. Many times I get so frustrated at the presentation and presenter, that I ignore what they are saying and just want the whole thing over.
I mentioned this at a recent conference to another attendee after we watched one person after another read their slides word for word. As a result I wrote up these helpful guidelines for those that present to people like me that buy things.

Things not to do in a presentation with me
1) Don’t read the slides – I can read and have skimmed your slide before you are into your second sentence. You should be explaining why you are showing me this information, not going over the information.
2) Don’t tell me stats on your company – I don’t care about your stock price, when you were founded, how much business your did, or who you clients are, or what deals you have on the table.
3) Don’t tell me my business – I know my business. You will get something wrong or explain something that doesn’t apply to me if you try to explain it. That just makes you look like you don’t know what you are talking about.
4) Don’t use my company’s logo in your presentation. It makes me want to call our attorneys.
5) Don’t run down your competition – Most likely I’ve bought from your competition in the past. Saying that they are terrible is basically telling me that I’m stupid for choosing them.
6) Don’t tell me my challenges – You have no idea what my real challenges are. Anything you bring up is what you read on the internet.
7) Don’t make me use your stupid remote desktop sharing/collaboration software that requires me to download a bunch of crap. If you can’t be in the room, just send the PowerPoint, Keynote, or PDF document.
8) Don’t mention Magic Quadrants/Analysts – I don’t care what a bunch of overpriced analysts decided about your company while they chatted over beer at the airport. Last time I checked, research companies are filled with people booted out of operational & executive roles into the land of consultancy.
9) Don’t Google me and then try to pretend like you didn’t Google me. It’s fine to Google me and talk about what you found, but don’t lie about it.
Things to do in a presentation
1) Be clear about your goal – If you want a sale, more introductions, a demo opportunity, then say so clearly. Beating around the bush gets you nowhere.
2) Ask me what my issues are and what problems I’m trying to solve – It’s astounding how few people actually take the time to ask what I’m looking for to help.
3) Explain what differentiates you from your competitors – Telling me how you have a way to help me that others don’t is a positive way to eliminate your competition.
4) Use a whiteboard to draw complex ideas and hand the pen to others in a collaborative discussion.
5) If you mention that you work with one of my customers or competitors, be sure you do. We’ll likely be calling them to compare notes.
6) Follow up with an email containing whatever you presented in the room and anything I asked for specifically. That does not mean attach 3 more case studies and copies of your last magazine ad.
7) Swag is great, but bring enough for my staff. As an exec, I get plenty of benefits, your tchotchkes don’t mean a lot to me, but they mean much more to my team. Bringing 12 small items for my team is much better than one of two nice things for me.
8) Be honest. Don’t make things up or shade the truth about features of your product or service. In the end, I will find out. Promising vaporware is a good way to never make the sale.