The plane will not take off

OK, I read the post on Jason Kottke’s site about the The case of the plane and conveyor belt, and quickly concluded that the plane cannot take off.
I was shocked, SHOCKED, to find smart people like Matt Haughey and Mike Buffington believing that the plane can take off.
Let me clear this up.
For an aircraft of any type to fly, it must overcome the constant acceration downward of gravity. Flying, for the most part, has little to do with speed and everything to do with the lifting force that counteracts the pull of gravity. Got that? Lifting force is all the matter to leave the ground and fly.
The question then is how do you generate enough lifting force. With a balloon, the lifting force is based on the fact that a bag of lighter-than-normal-air gas (usually hydrogen, helium, or hot air) will rise above normal (cold) air. Make sense? A balloon has no direct thrust or “push against air”, it simply has the lifitng force of the gas.
Now let’s look at an airplane. How does an airplane fly? An airplane flys off the ground solely because it can generate a lifting force. An airplane generates this lifting force by air flowing over an airfoil (known as a wing). The faster the air travels over the wing, the more lift is generated.
Planes that go fast can generate a lot of speed (air moving past the wings) can generate a lot of lift. If an airplne goes too slow, it doesn’t generate enough lift to counteract the force of gravity, and it falls to the ground. This is called a stall.
So, now that you are versed in the basics of aerodynamics, let’s look at the question of the airplane on the conveyer belt. The airplane will sit on the conveyer belt with engines blasting, tires rolling, and to the outside observer, standing in place. While tremendous forward force is being generated, there is no increase on the airflow over the wings.
So, if there is is no increased airflow over the wing, there is no lift. Without lift, the airplane CANNOT take off and fly. Let me repeat that key part, without lift, the airplane CANNOT take off and fly. It doesn’t matter how hard the engines ‘push the air’, there is no lift being generated in the conveyor belt scenario.
I hope you can now see clearly the correct answer to the ‘question’ is that the plane will not take off.
If you start to argue about the validity of the basic aerodynamic theory of lift, you might as well start arguing that the earth is flat or in creationism.
Update: After reading the comments it seems like the debate is hinging on whether the plane stays stationary or not. Obviously above I’m assuming the plane/conveyor belt contrapion is designed to hold the plane still. If that is not assumed then then the entire question is stupid and ridiculous. It’s then like asking can a plane take off in the rain or snow when the wheels slip.
If that’s really the point that the question poser is making then it’s fucking stupid. It’s like those stupid tests where the first line says “1) Read all instructions carefully before taking the test” and the last line says “57) Now that you’ve read all the instructions carefully, don’t do 2-56, write your name in and turn in the test.” Fuck that shit.

Cruft Labs -> Hefty Serve ‘n Store

A while ago (ok, it was five months ago) I received an email from a marketing guy asking if I wanted to review Hefty Serve ‘n Store stuff for my site. Now I know that marketers are getting saavy to blogs and that this was basically a product pitch, but I thought it would be fun. So, let it be known that I received TWO PACKAGES of plastic bowls for FREE. No hidden astroturfing here at Cruft Labs.


Due to little things like work, my family, World of Warcraft and my general laziness, it has taken me quite a while to do the review that you, the Loyal Cruft Reader, would expect.
Now down to business.

The Serve ‘n Store bowls and plates are a kinda intriguing concept. The idea is that the edges can interlock and close up to form a container. So you eat off a plate, don’t finish it, and with the leftovers, you slap a second one on top and toss it in the fridge. Sounds reasonable.

The first thing I had to check was if it was water tight or not. I filled the bowl up with water, seal the lid and turned it on it’s side. Water poured out. It held food just fine, but it should not be used for liquids if you are used to Tupperware or other water tight containers.

As I took a closer look at the bowls, I was surprised to see the words “Do Not Microwave” on the bottom. At first this didn’t make sense until I condsider that if the closed set was put into the microwave, the steam of the food cooking inside, could cause the bowls to blow open in a messy way.

Of course, the only way to know was to test the bowls out in a real test. So I placed some chicken leftovers in the bowl and popped it into the microwave for a few minutes. Everything came out of the microwave fine and I had a nice buffalo chickens andwich and a beer.

After eating, I took a look at the bowl and noticed that it had indeed deformed slightly from it’s brief time in the microwave. My recommendation is that one reheat will be fine but more than that will wreck the bowls further. Of course, Hefty’s lawyers are wigging out that someone would disobey the clear instruction “Do Not Microwave”, but I’m a rebel.

Now on to more crucial tests. Once of the key roles that paper plates fufill is as makeshift frisbees. I took the girls outside and had them try throwing the sealed plates. They flew surprisingly well. The girls had fun with them and I guess that’s all that matters.
The second critical test was whether the Server ‘n Store could be used as maracas. Anyone that has participated in children’s crafts knows the way to make a maraca is to put some pinto beans in some paper plates and then staple the edges shut. It made sense that the sealing action of the bowls would make them perfect for the test, but a real test was in order.
And so I present a Cruft video, made especially for you:

As you can see, they passed this test with flying colors.
Overall, the Serve ‘n Store stuff works as advertised. We’ll probably keep some around the house from now on, but I think they should offer a microwave safe version to placate the worryworts out there.

5+1=6 blades

Of course, the best commercial during the Superbowl was for the Gillette Fusion razor. At first I didn’t know what the commecial was about, but once I did I stood and began applauding since i knew they we about to announce the 5 bladed razor.
I have waited for the 5 bladed razor for a long time. I reviewed Shick’s 4 blade razor and there was the Onion’s post about the 5 blade razor, but it has not been a reality until now.
As a man with a heavy beard, meaning that I get a five o’clock shadow by about 10:30 AM, I am keen for improvements in this realm. Due to my tight industry connections (actually Michele got me one at the supermarket), I got my hands on a new Gillette Fusion razor.


First you’ll notice that Gillette is now boldy claiming orange as a ‘man color’ moving beyond the traditional blue and green. I will mention that the package was easy to open. Unlike many products that are encased in plastic requiring assault with pliers and knives to open, the package was easy to open with only my fingers with no difficulty.

Notice that the razor really has SIX blades. OUTF*CKINGSTANDING! The line has been drawn and it’s now at six blades!

The shaving head itself is a slight modification of the previous 3 blade models. Besides the addtion of the blades, the little rubber strip at the bottom has been widened significantly. The handle obviously has some metal in it since it has some heft and is not as light as many of the complete disposable razors. I’m not sure why, but a little weight makes the handle feel better in the hand.

The trim blade on the back is a novel idea. For those that don’t shave, all the rigamarole on the main shaving face can make it difficult to get a clean edge on your sideburns, leading to uneven and ragged edges.

The blade exchange system looks exceedingly simply, even easy to do with wet, soapy fingers. Now if only Gillette built a toothbrush attachemnt that you could swap onto the end of the handle…

So, how was the shave? It was superb.
I am serious about shaving and use Kiehl’s Shave Cream at the end of my shower when my face has been wet for a while.
On the first few pulls of the razor, it felt so smooth that I thought it was just wiping the cream off and not cutting. I had to check and and sure enough, a clean shave. The smoothness of the pull is significantly better than any other razor I have used. A light tough was all that was needed, and I didn’t have to go over the tougher places like my chin two or three times. I’m not sure if it’s the rubbery part or the five blades, but the razor lives up to the hype. It’s the smoothest shave available.
I tried the single blade trim part and that is a great innovation. It worked great and didn’t feel as if I would cut myself as I positioned the blade to trim my side burns.
The only drawback of the Fusion is that with it’s massive head, it doesn’t fit into the typical razor hold, like the kind you see attached to the mirror. I had to hang the razor on one of the hooks through the center of the razor. Not a huge deal, but to those of you that prize symmetry, it might bother you a bit.
Obviously, IMHO, the Gillette Fusion is the new king of the hill in manly razors and is a significant improvement on shaving technology. Going forward, it will be in daily use at Cruft Manor.

Four Things

I have been stirred out of my winter blog hibernation to heed Anil’s call to answer about Four Things. Far from me to refuse an internet rock star like Anil anything, so I present:
Four Things
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Taco Bell food slinger
2. Technician at an electronic warfare company
3. Consultant on building television facilities
4. Technology Exec at Disney
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Dune
2. Last Temptation of Christ
3. Apocalypse Now
4. The Fifth Element
Four places I’ve lived:
1. Harbor City, California
2. Troy, New York
3. Venice Beach, California
4. San Francisco, California
Four TV shows I love:
1. The Wire
2. Deadwood
3. Good Eats
4. The Daily Show with John Stewart
Ten highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I’ve never watched a single minute of:
1. Battlestar Galactica
2. Lost
3. Desperate Housewives
4. 24
5. Family Guy
6. The Shield
7. Rescue Me
8. My Name is Earl
9. Gray’s Anatomy
10. The West Wing
Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Macau
2. Cancun, Mexico
3. Yellowstone Park, Wyoming
4. Duck, North Carolina
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. My mother’s Chicken Crepes
2. My wife’s Turkey Meatloaf
3. Yoshinoya Beef Bowl
4. A souffle for dessert
Four sites I visit daily:
1. Slashdot
2. Yahoo News
3. Gen[M]ay Forums
4. Jason Kottke
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. At home, playing World of Warcraft
2. Disneyland
3. Wapiti Meadows, Idaho
4. In outer space
And now that I have discharged my duty, I hereby tap the following four people to post their lists:
Martin Diggs
Judi (my mother)
Suw Charman
Bill “Squidly” Bessette
Update: Once I posted the list and looked at it, I realized that it should have been four items not ten for the movies… C’est la Vie.

N51°30.282 W000°08.987

Yes, if you enter that location into your favorite mapping site, you will find that I am in London.
Despite my jet lag, I’ve already been out shopping for Michele’s list of items to return with. The exercise will do me some good.
I’ve got a week of business here and just arrived a few hours ago. If you’re in London, drop me a note.

Big 10

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Zoe’s big 10th Birthday.
Hard to believe, but my oldest daughter is 10 years old and rapidly approaching teenagerhood. We had a small family party on her birthday at Farrell’s. A week later, we had her birthday party for school friends at the local lasertag facility. Good times.


I think Michele’s idea on how to make a birthday for Zoe out of cupcakes is fantastic.

Zoe’s big present was a bass guitar. She’d been asking for one for a while and who are we to stand in the way of Rock? She’s definetly got the attitude going.