Cruftbox: My Box of Cruft

I received a rebuttal to my Apple satire by some guy.

“glories of Macintosh”? I think someone needs professional help. It’s just a fucking computer…

Apple has a new campaign on switching from PCs to Macs.

Here’s my perception of the reality…

We had a busy weekend…

Here are four stories for your perusal:

1) Zoe loses her training wheels
2) A small hot dog eating contest
3) Our fifth geocache trip
4) Our sixth geocache trip

Time for bed now.

I was getting ready for work this morning and noticed this sight.

Let’s see here, there are four people in the house. My toothbrush is the one on the left. The rest are for the girls. Between Michele, Zoe, and Mira, they have SIX toothbrushes.

It is quite confusing to me since they seem to all use each others. I’ve looked for a pattern, but there is none. Pure girl confusion.

Ever since I began living with Michele, I’ve had to deal with sharing the bathroom space with her. I have a small shelf under the showerhead for my soap & razor. The rest of the space is filled with various lotions and potions she uses.

The countertop sees regular incursions of ‘her stuff’ onto my side. I agressively rearrange the countertop to regain my lost territory. For eight years of marriage, I have fought this battle with general success.

Here’s why this concerns me. Instead of facing one woman, I am now facing three. At first I thought it was triple the amount of stuff I would be dealing with, but now I see my foolishness.

The photo above shows the potential assualt these wily women are planning. I have 1 toothbrush, they have 6. This tells me to expect not a tripling of ‘girl stuff’ but truly an astounding SEXTUPLING (six times) of the amount I currently deal with.

Going from having one HALF of the counter to a probable one SEVENTH of the counter is terrifying in it’s implications.

Basically, I am doomed. Unless I build a secret bathroom for my own personal use, I risk being enveloped in a pit of creams, lotions, and strange plucking tools.

I received this email:

First of all, go visit Logan’s page,
KU-2 Comics .  He’s been doing great stuff for years.

Too bad he doesn’t understand view on Apple
Macs.  I’ve never said that Macs are bad computers.  People can create
all kinds of great stuff on Macs, just like they can on Windows & Linux boxes. 
Actually, Apple makes some good computers.  I have the highest respect for
Apple’s hardware designers.  It’s their software designers and business
practices that I have trouble with.

Most Mac users must agree that Mac OSs from 6
through 9 were crap.  Crap.  C R A P!  The simple fact that when
Macs crashed they displayed an image of a bomb and only gave the user the option
of rebooting alone is worth years in purgatory for those responsible.  Lack
of multi-tasking.  Extension conflicts. Closed hardware standards. 
Single button mice.  I could go on…

The current Mac OS X is nice. Too bad it’s a
complete rip of unix/mach with a pretty GUI bolted on.  Apple got back to
their roots by stealing ideas again.  Just as they stole the idea for the
initial Macintosh from Xerox PARC, they stole the idea of modifying unix from
the open source community.  Apple tried to write a next generation OS in
Copeland, but failed.  Failed miserably.  And their users suffered. 
Sure, todays’s Macs are nice, but after being treated poorly for a decade, I’m
not ready to forgive.  There are many Mac fanatics that are in love with
Steve Jobs again for OS X.  To me, they are like battered wives who make up
with their husband after he brings home a bouquet of flowers after beating her
up the night before.

I bet the Mac users reading now are foaming at
the mouth.  Settle down, it’s just a stupid computer.

Here are the reasons I was dreading the idea of
my mother getting a Mac. 

Support – I am the primary computer support
person for most of my family.  Trying to help my mother through problem on
an OS that I don’t use is a huge pain in the ass.  Helping my mother with
questions about using AOL on a Mac are tough when I use neither the software nor
the OS.  Imagine trying to configure a computer OS you’ve never used over
the telephone.  It’s horrific.

Upgrades – Macs are basically locked into the
initial hardware configuration.  There are no industry standard Apple
designs that allow owners to easily upgrade parts of the computer.  In the
PC, almost everything can be upgraded at a low cost.  Try to put your Mac
in a custom case.  You can’t.  You are stuck with what Steve Jobs
likes. 

Cultism – Many Mac users act like they are in a
cult.  I’m not joking. I previously posted this:

It’s simple.  I don’t want my mother in a
cult.

I’ve ranted enough.  Time for bed.

I, like many people, place enormous trust in technology. We fly in airplanes, use telephones and have ABS brakes.

Recently at the office, they installed auto-flushing toliets. There is no lever to pull. When you are done with your business and walk away, it automatically flushes.

For some reason, this technology makes me more nervous than flying on a plane five miles in the sky.

I planted my first Geocache this weekend. You can read the story here.

I placed it on Sunday afternoon. By the time I got home from work on Monday, it had been found not once, but twice. Woo hoo!

Hopefully the Juju Travel Bug will make it to Washington, DC, where my brother can retrieve it.

In no particular order:

Casablanca
Blade Runner
Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Apocalypse Now
Full Metal Jacket
The Godfather
The Usual Suspects
Seven Samurai
Princess Bride
Blazing Saddles

My parent are going on a trip and my mother sent me an email just before she left. Here’s an excerpt:

Hope this doesn’t make you sad, but I have decided that my next toy will be a laptop so I can take it when I am away. And, because of all the awful viruses, I think I will get a MAC. Have a great weekend. Love, Mom

France, the #1 seed in the 2002 World Cup, lost to Senegal.

Expect a general surrender soon.