Dear Europe,

I really am an enjoying my time here in Europe. I love Paris and Amsterdam, so much fun to be had.

There are two issues I really need you to focus on:

1) Lack of Air Conditioning - Look, I know it's an old part of the world, but that's no excuse for air conditioning to be missing. Restaurants should be air conditioned, especially Argentine steak houses. Convention centers should be air conditioned to avoid me passing out while doing business. Clubs hosting parties should be air conditioned to avoid people clustering at windows to gasp for cool fresh air. Can you give me an ETA on when I should plan to stop sweating everywhere I go?

2) Robbie Williams - Tonight I endured not one, not two, but THREE karaoke versions of Robbie Williams songs. As one of the three Americans in the room, we were the only ones that not only didn't know the words by heart, didn't even know who this guy was. Evidently he's a big singer from England, but honestly, his music is fairly amatuerish compared to that from other current Brit Bands. Please explain Robbie Williams and why he is beloved...

Regards,

-Michael