November 21, 2005
The price

In life you need to be careful that you understand the price of things.

Work has been keeping me exceedingly busy these days. It's been a slow but gradually ramp up of things to do, but now I find myself completely out of juice when I get home. There's lots to do and I power up at the office to get things done, but the to-do list never seems to get any smaller. When I do clear out some space by finishiing something it invariably is replaced with a stack twice as high.

I'm not complaining. With my personality, I crave the challenge and power of this kind of job, but it does have it's price.

At home, I focus on the girls, the one I married and the two I helped make. They really don't care about my title or job or the latest project, they just want me to do the daddy thing and pay attention to them. Even when I think I'm out of juice, I crank up the reserves and try to get the job done.

Once they go to sleep, I have the brief time when I'm free. Stacks of crap surround my desk. A site redesign sketch lays untouched for months. Multiple projects await my attention. Rants that course though my brain on the daily commute don't get written. Even the escape of video games loses it's allure.

Not that I'm sad, but I notice that I've hunkered down. Scaling down life to the bare essentials: family, work, and a brief decompress. The world passes me by. Emails go unreturned. Phone calls don't get made. Friends grow.

So the cost of success appears to be losing track of many things. Today I realized that my best friend lost 100 pounds and I had no fucking clue. What the fuck? I mean I know I'm not good about keeping in touch with people. That's where Michele backstops me. But I mean really how can I miss out on something like that and it catch me unaware?

Everything in life has a cost, it just sucks that you don't always realize the price until you've paid it.

Posted by michael at November 21, 2005 09:52 PM


I disappear from time to time. Don't think it you. It's me, trying to get back there from here. I had to do it, is the bottom line. I had to channel energies and dig deep.

There are prices to pay, but some better now than later.

Trust me when I say, it was a huge step for me to blog it, losing weight, and there are alot of people that will be caught off guard by the news. Can't rightly tell you why, well I know why... personal battle and all, but I needed to recess and reflect and disappear for a brief momement.

Posted by: Martin [] on November 22, 2005 2:37 AM

Oh my gosh.

Posted by: Mom [] on November 23, 2005 2:21 AM

This is a bad time of year for introspective thinking. This too shall pass. The projects will get done, and the afterglow of accomplishment will lift your spirits.

Life is a series of passages from one phase to another. This is one of the low points. There have been high points in the past, and there will be in again the future.

Take a vacation from your mindset. There is always time to do those things that are important to you if you want it to be.

I can really relate to what you're thinking, but can't offer much more than I already have.

Posted by: mark [] on November 23, 2005 4:01 PM
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