November 19, 2004
Lowly dogs, bow your heads

Pay attention denizens of Los Angeles, I have news that affects you! Spread the news!

Last May I went to see GWAR perform. I had a great time and afterward had several people say, "If I would have known, I would have gone with you."

I am giving all you fair warning that GWAR is coming to Los Angeles on December 3rd, at the Key Club in Hollywood.

Hear me now, you WILL go see GWAR when they come to town "to play heavy metal and split some fucking skulls!" Bowing down to GWAR as our masters is an experience not to be missed.

You cannot resist the call of Oderous Urungus, Flattus Maximus, and Beefcake the Mighty! Buy your tickets TODAY. Do not delay or hem and haw over this. You simply must attend the GWAR concert.

I do not want to hear any bullshit about your plans to watch TV or snuggle with the missus. Reserve December 3rd as a night of mayhem, skull splitting, and getting covered in strange colored fluids in a mosh pit.

Posted by michael at November 19, 2004 01:10 PM